The Trouble with Us.

Church,

You have caused me so much pain in the past few months. You have wounded me in ways that have left deep and painful scars. I have experienced great injustice by you.

Church, I have watched you overlook my black brothers and sisters, not just this week, but for years, for centuries. I have sat with my friends and family in their pain and been angry at your silence and your complacency.

Church, I am angry with you. At times I never want to step foot in your buildings again.

Church you have sinned.

I am thankful for Jesus, and that he is the only one I serve. My identity is not in the name of a role, the name of the church I attend, or who accepts me. My identity is in Jesus.

I am thankful for the people of God who press against injustice, who press into pain, and who call out the sins of racism rather than those who follow apologies with complacency.

Church, despite all this: the pain, the anger, the loss and grief, the disappointment, and the frustration, I have longed for nothing more then to stand and sing with the people of God.

Church, I sat and sang with you last Tuesday- not in a building, not only with those under my church name,

and it was beautiful.

Church, you break my heart;

At times, it’s hard to trust you. Many times you are a place of no justice and no grace.

Church, if I am honest, you have historically caused me some of my deepest rooted pains.

Church, your history shows you have not always displayed the love of God well to the other, to the vulnerable, to the marginalized. To people who look and think like me.

Church, I am grateful for those who remind me that the Church is made of broken, sinful people and I am one of them.

I am grateful for those that remind me that this is why we need a Savior.

Church, I will continue to struggle with you, because that is what God called me to, because if I profess the name of Jesus, I am the church.

Church, I need you to do better.

Church, I will not be silent with your sin any longer. I will not let you silence my voice.

Church, I will do better too.

Church, I am a sinner too. I am slow to show grace. I am quick to demand justice in a unjust manner. Church, I know I have hurt you too.

Church, we must do better.

~ Your Brown Skinned Broken Sister.