Lent Reflections 2023
I was asked to write a brief reflection for our Church for Lent on Psalm 143. I will be honest when I first received the passage I felt unsure. I read it over and over for days which turned into weeks, and ultimately had me turning this in way past its due date. (Thanks for the grace in my delay.) But then I remembered a practice I had started many years before of praying through the Psalms. The results of that are my reflections below.
I have practiced using the Psalms as prayers through different times of struggle, grief, injustice, and pain. Psalm 143 gave voice to the desperate prayers whispered during a series of unjust events I have faced.
Water from my tears had blurred my eyes so much that I was forced to pull over at the first gas station I could find. A call from a friend came at the perfect timing, and she listened as I wept over the accusations that had just been hurled at me. Nothing said had been true. My request for help had not only fallen on deaf ears but had been twisted into a lie that I was somehow the one in the wrong.
“Hear my prayer, O Lord; give ear to my pleas for mercy! In your faithfulness, answer me, in your righteousness! Enter not into judgment with your servant, for no one living is righteous before you.”
I felt crushed. I was angry. I was angry at the injustice, at the reality that my employer, my church, was not going to protect me, not address the wrongdoing. As a result, I left a ministry I loved. I walked away knowing God was asking me to trust that justice came in his perfect timing but feeling defeated.
“For the enemy has pursued my soul; he has crushed my life to the ground; he has made me sit in darkness like those long dead. Therefore, my spirit faints within me; my heart within me is appalled.”
A year later, I sat in a restaurant, both excited and nervous about the new opportunities for our family. Without warning, any hopefulness in me came crashing down as I was accused of rumors and skewed opinions. It was a twisted and inaccurate representation of my character. I was shocked, then angry, and then so utterly sad. This was supposed to be a fresh start, a new beginning, and now it was a pile of destruction before it even began.
“I remember the days of old; I meditate on all you have done; I ponder the work of your hands. I stretch out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.”
Again, I found myself in a parking lot as tears spilled out from confusion and pain. What was God doing? Why was he continually allowing his church and people to cause incredible pain and injustice? When will we be released from this place?
“Answer me quickly, O Lord! My spirit fails! Hide not your face from me, lest I be like those who go down to the pit. Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.
Deliver me from my enemies, O Lord! I have fled to you for refuge.”
I knew as we drove away that day that God was calling us to move on. He was making a new path. He promised a fresh start. It would not come for almost six months later, but I held onto the truth in the remainder of the Psalms.
“Teach me to do your will, for you are my God! Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground! For your name’s sake, O Lord, preserve my life! In your righteousness, bring my soul out of trouble! And in your steadfast love you will cut off my enemies, and you will destroy all the adversaries of my soul, for I am your servant.”
God is faithful.
You can find the original post HERE as well as read others contributions for Lent.
I have practiced using the Psalms as prayers through different times of struggle, grief, injustice, and pain. Psalm 143 gave voice to the desperate prayers whispered during a series of unjust events I have faced.